more addiction.

5 hours after i had created my last post and practically announce to the online world that "i am an addict!" an addict of all sorts actually. here i am again, trying to organize my oh-so-distracted thoughts to create another post of some sense. im distracted. im addicted. all i can envision is how my blog will look like after i add music, make things pop, and allow texts to float. arrrrggggghhhh!
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1:46 pm. im here at the cafe. i have 7 windows open for surfing and blogging. that's aside from the yahoo messenger window that pops up every minute or so to relay the message from my friend, "Pulanco." i havent closed my eyes since the last 15 hours, aside from the rhythmic blinking movement. im stinky. wasted. tired. but my mind is still so awake, my head would only hurt if i allow myself to roll on the bed and make waste of my thoughts. though, honestly, i really dont have any!
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after work, abba, dottie, and I had breakfast. though you really cant call it breakfast 'coz we really didnt eat anything. all we had was a share of marilena's spaghetti bolognese, 2 cups of coffee for abba, 2 glasses of icy choco for me, and water for dottie. we talked about a lot of things. well, not really a lot. its just that we've said alot of things regarding a very specific topic which is really shallow and unintellectual. ok, we gossiped. satisfied? *_*

anyways, what we talked about remained there so need to talk about it here. what i want to emphasize, though, is the realization i've made about those conversations. im confused, really. its the idea of scrutinizing people for the things they do yet you yourself are so unaware of doing the same acts that you oh-so despise. ironic, isnt it? also, another fact hit me when i was on the bus on my way home. its the question of knowing who the real people are. its the ability to see behind the mask, and beyond the facade. its about choosing between the people you trust, your friends, and the people who are trustworthy enough to keep one secret, may it be simple, clean, dirty, or complicated. confusing is'nt it?

realization? nothing. just a solution to what's bugging me. TRUST NO ONE NOT EVEN YOURSELF. CONTROL BUT YIELD. Be honest when expressing your feelings, yet be manipulative enough to make people see the things that you want them to see - that's your point of view.

im feeling humid. i wanna be an observer. a photographer or a psychologist of some sort. bye for now.